Focus Discussion of the Week:
Does being “nice” lead to more sales? How about being “liked”? The answer might surprise you. As we all know, these past months look a bit different than they did last year. So, how do we continue to drive sales and have a record-breaking year? Mary Marshall Forrest from the Forrest Performance Group joins us to discuss why “Likeability Is Overrated” and how being “nice” isn’t always necessary for your sales equation.
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Two thought leaders come together to explore all things sales and marketing from their unique perspectives. Each week, Mollie Elkman, Matt Riley, and others from Group Two dive into a focus discussion to talk about the latest trends, changes, and best practices.
[00:00:00] Mary: Today, I believe, you know, home building is in a, it’s in a really beautiful place because people are spending more times in their homes than ever before. So they’re noticing what they love and what they don’t love. you know, I’ve spent more nights in my, at home in the past three months than I probably did in the last year.
I have cooked more meals in the last three months in my home than I probably have in the last four years. You know, I’m in my home all the time now, and that was not the case before. And, but with, with adrenaline, you know. Our competition now as home builders is, are they going to put that money in the stock market?
That’s, you can get really great deals on, on, on a lot of stocks right now, or are they going to hoard their money and put it under the mattress because they’re fearful, you know, what are they doing with the money? It’s not going to go to something else extravagant. And so that sales message tweaking to be about safety and certainty and quality of life in the home.
Versus the, extra bells and whistles and as something that’s just in [00:01:00] abundance and openness, it becomes something that’s, a, we’re now selling like shelter. You know, instead of just this, this gravitas of, of amazing things, even if our home is, you know, luxurious and amazing. the message needs to change because the people are wanting you to give them the drug of adrenaline.
Matt: Hi and welcome to building perspective with Matt Riley and Mollie Elkman.
Mollie: We’re here to bring value to you and your team by exploring all things sales and marketing related
Matt: all from different perspectives. Today, our focus discussion of the week is likability is overrated with our special guest, Mary Marshall [00:02:00] Forrest.
President of Forrest performance group. Mary, thank you so much for coming on the show. Welcome.
Mollie: Yay. Welcome, Mary.
Mary: Yay. Thank you guys for having me. I’m so, so, so thrilled to be communicating with humans right now.
Matt: Every little bit counts. Right? And for the record it’s even better because this is not a zoom call.
Mary: Matt, we are all. We are hoping that you have pants on.
Matt: Well, I. Can’t make any promises, but here we are.
Mollie: Have you guys seen the video of the newscast or not wearing any pants? It’s awesome.
Matt: Yes. He thought he was like a headshot, like chest above and they did like a zoom out and he’s like sitting in his chair with in his boxers with the
Mollie: I’m not even, I really can picture you, Mary right now. Like wearing like a full on cocktail dress [00:03:00] and heels and like, just like, I just think that’s like how you are at home.
Mary: Okay. And I’m just going to stick with that. So that’s exactly,
Mollie: I love it. I love it.
Mary: Oh, so we’re
Mollie: so happy to have you here. I’m sure people are wondering about our title.
Likability is overrated. especially after the builder’s show. So we were in January, which feels like a lifetime ago. We were at the builder’s show together. And, just on a personal side note, whenever I’m having a bad day, I listen to the introduction that you did for me, for the builder show. That’s like my, my little like, cheer of self esteem is your voice in my head with your intro.
Mary: That means so much. Do you, and I don’t think you know this, that when I was. Writing, you know, everything that I was going to do for the sales rally and putting it out, the very first thing I wrote, like six months before the builder show was your intro like that. That was the first, that was the thing that I knew that had to be said.
So thank you for [00:04:00] saying that. I meant from my soul every bit of that.
Mollie: Well, I love it and I appreciate it. And, you are the only reason I would ever do a sales rally because I’m obviously a marketing person, but, it was a really fun opportunity. And one of the things that we were just talking about is how, wow.
Everything we talked about is pretty much out the window.
Mary: Oh, I know. I, I laughed so hard at how much time I spent on that message. And. With my heart and soul believed in that message because it was, it was the, the message of abundance was perfect for 2019 because, you know, we were in such an amazing.
Economy, that the, the, the thought process, the pendulum that people swung between was this place of abundance or this place of greed. It was, you know, it was all about how do I acquire, how do I acquire, how do I have more luxury? How do I have more? Because honestly, I mean, you didn’t even have to be very good at your [00:05:00] job to make a lot of money in 2019 and so it was like, what do I do with all this money that I have?
And, but today we don’t. We know we don’t live in it in a. Pendulum of abundance to greet anymore. We live in this pendulum of fear to safety. You know, how scary, you know, we’re constantly, you know, I think the thing that people are constantly thinking about is, okay, how safe do I feel right now? How safe do I feel?
You know, going to this restaurant, how safe do I feel at home today? How safe do I feel at the grocery store? Or, you know, should I be scared of the elevator buttons? Should I be scared of walking outside my home? Should I be scared of going to see my parents on their birthday? Should I be scared? And so it’s interesting that that.
I think the abundance message, I love it. it was one of the most fun things I’ve ever written. and, and got to express to an audience. And, But it was, it was exactly timely. It’s just the next day, it wasn’t timely anyway.
Mollie: Oh, it will be timely again. We’ll get back there. for sure. But one of the things that I actually find [00:06:00] really interesting is, you know, one of the reasons we connect is because you’re all, you’re really into like self improvement, self discovery, always being better.
I mean, you talk to me about all these different programs that you do and. that you participate in. And this past year, that became a big part of my life. And, you know, I started meditating and I went to, a course in Berkeley, just about mindset and improvement and all that stuff. So we’ve always talked about mindset.
I mean, just personally and I, you know. When I was thinking about having you on, I was just like, my goodness. Like if there’s anyone who should be talking about mindset, it’s really you. So, talk to us about it. Like what, what has been your path, with sharing that message with the industry.
Mary: Oh, beautiful.
Thank you. And yeah, and you know, Mollie, you stated that I’m a lot nicer than you do when we’re having personal discussions. Actually tell me, Mary, you’re such a freak. You do all this weird stuff. So you
Mollie: do a lot of weird
Mary: stuff. [00:07:00] I do. I do. I looked at, Jason made this with all the kids this weekend we made, we made vision boards.
And Jason’s was really cool because he did one that he said, look, I’ve realized in my life I’ve everything, I just want more of what we’ve already done. And so he had this vision board that was all of it. It was us, and, you know, just trips that we’ve taken and adventures we’ve done over the last two years, two and a half years.
And, and I looked back at that and I’m like, Oh my gosh, I am like, we do weird stuff. I mean, we, we’ve spent a lot of time and you know, with Buddhist monasteries and Ostrom’s and with. You know, Google and Intel execs and Portugal and you know, we out. We’ve been, we’ve been everywhere doing crazy stuff.
And you know, the thing about mindset right now, is I think that we’re constantly looking externally and saying, you know, when are we going to get back to normal? When are we going to get back to normal? And. Our external circumstances will start to get back to normal. You know, I’m in Fort worth, Texas.
We can go to [00:08:00] the office, we can have 25% of our staff there starting on Friday. next week we can have, 50% of our staff there. You know, externally things are going back to, I’m doing air quotes. You can’t see around normal, but the change really is, Our internal mindset is shifted. You know, back to that, you know, we are not in an abundance place in, in, and you know, we had worked a lot with working with salespeople on these beautiful visionary sales messages around, creating this improvement in people’s lives.
But today, and I, and I always share with people to like, you know, let’s talk about how to sell against the competition and not necessarily another home builder or even a resale home, but your competition of cars and boats and Disney vacations. But that’s in the old abundance mindset. And we think about when we were back there in 2019 and there are drug of choice.
Was dopamine. How do we have more [00:09:00] dopamine? I mean, I used to teach sales people. How do you get dopamine releases in your prospects? Because that’s what we’re all feeding off and craving and wanting and addicted to. And if you think of what dopamine does physiologically to the body is it opens you up. It allows you to see so many things going on at one time.
It creates this joy and it lets us see opportunity that’s out there. But the problem is right now with abundance not being the pendulum that we’re on, dopamine isn’t our drug of choice anymore. Our drug of choice in 2020 is adrenaline. We’re searching for things that give us adrenaline. And so what adrenaline does in the body as it goes, and it’s super hyper, focuses you and you look at one thing and everything else becomes blurry, and it’s about survival.
And so. Today, I believe, you know, home building is in a, it’s in a really beautiful place because people are spending more times in their homes than ever before. So they’re noticing what they love and what they don’t love. you know, I’ve spent more nights in my, at home in [00:10:00] the past three months than I probably did in the last year.
I have cooked more meals in the last three months in my home that I probably have in the last four years. You know, I’m in my home all the time now, and that was not the case before. And, but with, with adrenaline, you know. Our competition now as home builders is, are they going to put that money in the stock market?
That you can get really great deals on, on on a lot of stocks right now, or are they going to hoard their money and put it under the mattress because they’re fearful, you know, what are they doing with the money? It’s not going to go to something else extravagant. And so that sales message tweaking to be about safety and certainty and quality of life in the home.
Versus the, extra bells and whistles. And as something that’s just in abundance and openness, it becomes something that’s, a, we’re now selling like shelter, you know, instead of just this, this gravitas of, of amazing things, even if our home is, you know, luxurious and amazing. the message needs to change [00:11:00] because the people are wanting you to give them the drug of adrenaline.
Mollie: It’s so, it’s so interesting cause we really haven’t talked so much about that on our, on our podcasts. It’s really, priorities are shifting. And I know this is obviously such a basic example, but I’ve never colored my own hair before. And I did it while I was in quarantine and I literally was like, why do I pay so much money to color my hair?
This isn’t such a big deal. Like my priority isn’t. It’s my time is more valuable. Why? And is that going to go back once things open up? Am I just going to keep coloring my own hair? It’s no, it’s not a big deal. It’s so easy. there is going to be a shift in lifestyle and, and I think you really nailed it, obviously with, you know, it’s going to be about safety and certainty and quality of life at home.
And that’s great for our industry. And I love that you can say, Oh yeah, remember what I said, you know, a month ago. Throw that out
[00:12:00] Mary: there.
Matt: I think too, with, with the word home, and I know we’ve really talked about that before, Mollie, of just what, how we utilize the word home, but never before has safety.
Insecurity, that feeling of safety and security around your home. Ever been so important. Right. And or front of mind. And cause I think housing in the past, especially over the past decade or so, yes. It’s a place where you raise your family. Yes, it’s a place where you live. But I think it’s also been just thought of as a necessity, right?
You have to have it and I want to do all these other things. So this part of it isn’t as important until. You have to sit in your home for the next, for three months or two months, and then the entire landscape of work changes, right. And now, wow, I [00:13:00] could actually be spending forever more and more time at home.
And just how, I dunno. To me, that just resonates tremendously about that, that safety and security, around. Around our homes today. And I think that’s where you talk about that, that adrenaline rush, that, you know, that that hit of adrenaline, that with customers thinking or buyers thinking it’s, it’s all about how I feel.
And, and looking for that sense of security at home.
Mary: Absolutely. And everything about, you know, you, I think the phrase you said is where we raise our family. Well, raising our families is now a completely different thing than four months ago or last year, 2019 or 2018 our raising our families is, is homeschooling.
It’s cooking every single meal. It’s a lot of times. I live in a condo in my building, also said, you know, No outside people, no housekeepers. You know, so it’s, it’s now, you know, Mollie, we’re talking about [00:14:00] coloring your hair. You know, I’ll tell you a secret. I’ve been boxed dyeing my hair for like years, so, so I have that down, but cleaning my home and doing my own laundry, like I didn’t know how to do that.
So we’re, we’re back to doing those things. But if everything, the meaning behind all of those words and everything that happens in our home is becoming deeper and greater and, and changing.
Mollie: Yeah. That priority is really shifting. I what I, what I’m curious about is how does that all tie back to the idea of likability being overrated?
Because that’s, that’s our topic of the day. And we thought it was, you know, it’s, it’s a funny topic because everyone likes to be liked. Everyone desires to be like, so let’s talk about why likability is overrated because of how things are shifting.
Mary: Yeah. And you know what, and I’ll, I’ll share with you some, some examples.
you know, firsthand just from, from my own industry. And then I’ll, and then I’ll share with you what that means, in home building as well. But you know, in 2019. [00:15:00] You know, I don’t think, you know, there were a lot of people that we would talk to a lot of builders about doing sales training and they would say, well, you know, I’ve been working with such and such, and I just really like him.
And you know, we just been friends for a long time, or, you know, and it’s all, it’s all working out really well. And you know, or, you know, we love playing golf together and this is, you know, this person’s really nice and, and to be honest, you know. Nice and likable have never been part of the FPG sales pitches.
And I think, and I’m going to be super candid and, and you know, I think if you were to go to any home builder out there, any home building salesperson and you were saying, Hey, I want you to rank everybody in writing, right by like ability, like, you know, we were all in the Jason Forrest model. No one’s going to put Jason at the top of the list.
He’s not warm and fuzzy.
Mollie: That’s why I love this title, because you actually, you are extremely likable. And I, you know, it is true though. Like you guys, you have this process and you believe in it, so you’re okay if someone doesn’t like, [00:16:00] you
Mary: know, I mean, to me, I mean, what I’m grounded in, in my integrity is that.
I always believe the nicest thing that you can do for somebody is tell them the truth and have a tough conversation with it. And so whenever any of the training team comes to me and says, what do I do in this situation? You know, you know some something, you know, builder, I need to have a tough conversation, but they’re not going to like me or something.
I would say, look, here’s the deal. we are not a company that. Is going to make somebody feel warm and fuzzy or feel okay about their mediocrity. I’m not going to do it. And, and there are companies out there that, that, that want, that, that needs us. Okay. And it was okay in 2019 it was okay in 2018 because again, you could not have impeccable, Service. You could not have impeccable, impeccable systems in your company and you were still making money. But 2020 is a new place and you have to have impeccability. And so right now, what I’ve noticed, and just, you know, one from my own business [00:17:00] is we had, one of our best months ever last month. And we’re looking at right now, we’re projecting, we’ll double that this month.
I mean, we’re, we’re doing outstanding. And I think the reason is, is before, one of the excuses was, you know, you guys just aren’t, you’re, you’re, you’re too intense or, you know, you’re not. we just really liked this other person. I mean, that would come up. But today, when, if you, if you imagine a home builder and he or she is up at night trying to figure out how they’re going to give the message, you know, who, who they have to lay off the next day.
And what message are they going to give them and how are they going to keep their company culture when they have to get rid of 20 50% of their staff? And these are people that they have said, I’m going to take care of you. Come work for me. And they’re fighting the government for loans and grants.
They’re fighting their bank. On all the current loans they have. They don’t know if they have enough money to start building on the land deals that they have. They, they’re trying to get out of bad deals. They’re sitting [00:18:00] there, you know, on their butt, on the ground up at night. They don’t know what to do.
And do they want a a trainer or a coach that’s going to sit down beside them and give them a side hug, make them tell them everything’s going to be okay. Or do they want a coach and a trainer who has the strength to pick them up, brush them off, and gently push them forward in the direction of putting it all back in place and they know that that trainer is going to stand right behind them and catch them if they start to stumble.
Like nice is not a criteria for people anymore. Likability is not, it’s do they have skill, do they have determination? And are they impeccable with their process and with the services of their company? And those are the things. And I think. Right now for us. I think that’s why we’re doing so well. I think that’s one of the main reasons.
and now I do thank you for saying that. I’m nice. I do. I think that when I think we love people, I [00:19:00] think that, you know, we care about, I think most of our clients feel, do feel warm and fuzzy after speaking with us. But it’s because someone’s teaching truth. They’re telling them how to do it. And, and now that they’re successful, so a hundred percent of the builders that were with us before it started are having the best years ever.
Of their history. And, and I think, and they have safety in that. And, and so we’re likability used to be one of the things we wanted to check off. It’s not there anymore. And it’s the same for salespeople and sales managers and builders is that they, that the people that are coming to them that are, that the, the world, the news, their parents, their friends are telling them, don’t buy a home.
Don’t do it right now. It’s the market’s bad. You know? It doesn’t matter how nice that sales person is, how likable it is. What matters is that that person says, I’m going to walk you through this process. They know that the person has the skill, the determination, the impeccability. They’re really going to build the [00:20:00] house.
They’re going to build the best house they’ve ever built. They want to know all of that, and so that is why they’re right now, there’s a split in the home building industry there. There are home builders that are shutting down right now. That are laying off their teams that are, that are, that have gotten alone and are writing it out, but only that, only have a few more months to go.
And there are, there are home builders right now that are having the best year of their life. And it is, it is very polar right now. It’s, it’s best or worst and there’s not very many that are in the middle.
Mollie: It’s really interesting because you really have always owned that message. you know that you guys, you’re, you talk about warrior selling, I mean, this idea of intensity is really.
A part of who you are as a company. I mean, I would imagine it’s in your mission statement. It’s just, it is your culture and who you are. And it’s interesting because, you know, I would say from a business standpoint, Matt and I are pretty intense. I mean, we are like obsessed with what we [00:21:00] do, but I don’t think that we would.
Like, I don’t think that that would be like the thing that differentiates us, but, but I get it. And when you’re, when you’re talking about it, your passion comes through. And quite frankly, when I need someone to tell me the truth and Mary, we text each other, that’s like, you know, if you ask me something, I’m going to tell you.
Exactly what I think is the truth. And I agree with you. That is the nicest thing you can do. That is what real friendship looks like. That is what real coaches look like. They, they give you that real information. So, you know, I, yeah, I’ve, I’ve always thought you guys are great and I’ve, you know, the two of us have always had a great relationship because of that.
Mary: Exactly. I love that. And I guess, and thank you because the more that, it’s funnier as my titles have changed, there are fewer people that always do tell me the truth. A lot of people like to tell me what they think I want to hear. And so yes, Mollie, you are my person. I go, Hey, just a mistake. And you will turn around and say you’re an idiot.
And I love that [00:22:00] about you and I, and. And I, I agree. It might not be part of your, your mission or your sales message to people, but again, the reason that, you know, I always feel comfortable, you know, sending my clients that need marketing help that I send them to to you guys is because. I know that they’re gonna that you’re going to tell them the truth, just like you do for me.
I know that you’re going to be intense, that you’re not going to allow people to spend money doing something that that’s not going to serve them just because it makes you money. I know you’re not going to do that, and so it might not be part of your sales mr mission, but it is part of your culture. I see.
From my perspective,
Mollie: for sure, and a lot of it comes down to not just. intense, but in what your intent is and when your intent is to make people better than, you know, that’s always the right message. Sorry, Matt, go ahead.
Matt: No, Mary, I want to. I’m interested in your opinion on this. I wrote down a [00:23:00] couple words as you were talking and see if you agree with this.
I think that a lot of times, the word or the feeling of nice, at least in the business, in a business setting, and I wrote down nice equals passive. And so I think to me, nice in the business realm equals this person’s passive compared to caring, right? So I think that being honest, I’m having those tough conversations.
Is shows that you truly care and it’s, and I think those two things between nice and caring can be a little, the lines can be blurred there because nice doesn’t also equal caring. Do you agree with that? I’m bringing, it’s like a brainstorm, like out loud as you were talking. What do you, what do you think about that?
Mary: Yeah, absolutely. Because I mean, at the same time, you know, not being a [00:24:00] jerk is, is still, you know, I think a criteria right now, like nobody wants to work with a jerk in any way
Matt: from a jerk. Right? Yeah,
Mary: I mean, you know. Yeah. You don’t want to, that’s never, that’s never going to be an asset. that’s not, that’s never the right, the right move.
But it’s interesting because I do a lot of, I do a lot of executive coaching within. home-building but also in other areas. And then I also do a lot of of coaching, and in mastermind groups with other coaches that, some that are in this industry and some that, most of them that are not in this industry.
And the number one thing that I think holds people back is that fear that I’m not going to be liked. And so. There’s a lot of conversation around having tough conversations. Do you know, doing, you know, telling people the truth about things. Most people don’t do it. Even the ones that preach that they do it, they don’t do it and they w and so there is an art to that.
There is an art to, to [00:25:00] the packaging of that there is an art to the consistent contact and eye contact. I mean, the, the. When you’re with somebody, are you really present with them? You know? Are you completely understanding where they’re coming from? Are you feeling them? Are you getting it? Do you, do you see all of them?
You know, we have a word that we use at FPG called Silvana. It means, do I see? I see you. I see all of you. I get it. And when you practice that intense presence with people. You can say what comes up because in that connection you have, even if your words aren’t as eloquent or as beautiful or as put together as you want, the intention comes through.
And so a lot of times I think we get stuck and, Oh, I’ve got to have this conversation. And we think about it. We think about it. And the people go into to have the tough conversation and they’re so nervous that they don’t even, they don’t spend a moment. And, and I don’t mean doing small talk, not [00:26:00] that, but just to breathe in to say I’m in the present moment with another conscious human being with choice.
And, and I appreciate them. And the message I’m about to give to them is, is not to show them something they’re doing wrong. It’s to, it’s to remind them of who they really are. It’s to remind them, that they are beyond powerful. And here’s a way that they can do that even more. I mean, we joke at at FPG, you know what, Jason, we made these, I am enough bracelets, I don’t know, 10 years ago.
I am enough is all over our office. It’s been our motto and, and we, we joke about it because it comes out in different, in different ways. Jason’s motivation when he, you started the IMF movement, with our clients and with our company was not. Hey, don’t worry about it. Like don’t feel bad about, you know, not making your sales goals cause you’re enough.
Like it’s [00:27:00] not that at all. It’s a, I’m going to look at you. I’m going to look at you in your eyes. I’m going to connect with you. I’m going to remind you of the powerful being you are. Let you know that you are enough. So get up. Become who you really are. Remember that, and go out and do your job. It’s not soft and fluffy.
It is. It is hardcore. But it, again, we can say that because we choose before we do that to connect and to see the whole person. So Matt, I don’t know if I just totally went crazy on, no,
Matt: not at all. No, because as you were talking, I was like trying to finish my, almost like I was thinking out loud asking you the question.
And I think that in, in a business setting, we think this person’s really nice and I mean is like they’re, they’re passive in the sense that they don’t have those tough conversations. And I think that the tough conversations can make people think. [00:28:00] Oh, well, this person’s really combative. and I wrote tough conversations.
Does not equal combative, tough conversations, equal
Matt: which equals nice. Like pulling that all the way through. And that’s where I think all that we talked about, likability is overrated or nice isn’t a necessity. I, you know, and I think that to fully, to fully get the point across is not necessity, isn’t, isn’t nice, isn’t a necessity, but the definition of nice isn’t the necessity or the perceived definition of what nice is.
Right? Because nice is like I just get to do whatever I want to do and they don’t make me feel bad about, or I don’t make myself feel bad about not doing the job to my fullest ability.
Mary: Beautiful. Beautiful. I love the way you put that.
Mollie: So Mary, one of the ways that you kind of described how you guys are as [00:29:00] is hardcore and you are hardcore, not just in business in life, it’s your personality.
And what I am dying to know is do you guys ever just like chill on the couch and watch a movie. I’m serious cause like I, I told you, I picture you like dressed up right now with your heels on and like, ready to go at all times and like, is there downtime? Is there just like watching a movie or having a lazy Sunday?
Mary: So, we’re learning that, you know, when this, when this first hit, you know, Well, one, we, we had something called a break. The glass strategy. We knew the market was going to turn. We predicted 20, 21. and so in, in 20, in 2017, Jason and I wrote this breakthrough glass strategy. When the market turns, this is what we’re going to do.
And one of the things that we did is we, we, we wrote a book about, about how to, [00:30:00] how to work within the, A really negative downturn market because we felt it was coming. Now we didn’t know Corona virus. And so we took the book we already had. And so in two and a half weeks, Jason put out, you know, how to sell through the, through the Corona virus, which is freaking phenomenal.
And so it gives the how to in the process. You know, I’m talking about mindset today cause that’s what, that’s what, that’s what, that’s what I want to talk about. But the process of how to do this and how to be super successful, it’s all in that book on Amazon. And so we, I did the math and it was, I think we spent.
I w I didn’t take a day off for 39 days. We worked 12 to 14 hour to 16 hour days for that long. And then, and this is before we were in shelter and place. I mean, we, we were going like crazy. We did that. And then, and then I had this moment where I just went, I don’t want to work this much anymore. I don’t want to do it.
And, and that’s been really cool and really freeing. You know, we are, we are learning right now. And actually I’m working with a coach to do this as well, [00:31:00] is how do we produce more, give the same amount to our clients, but also allow that time to sit and, and watch a movie. And so we’ve been really conscious about it.
This is so embarrassing. I can’t leave, I’m gonna say this out loud, but I, I got, I got some of those like adult coloring books. With like Mondalez.
Mollie: First of all, we did it as a whole agency. We literally did a zoom and did adult coloring, and I love how you whispered, but audience just want
Matt: to be, I just want to be clear.
When you sit, would we all say adult coloring books that we mean they’re covering books for adults? Not in the provocative way.
Mollie: You don’t do well.
Mary: Oh my God. That is really funny. No, but now I’m like disappointed that I don’t have an erotic adult coloring book. No, it’s just, it’s just like flowers and things.
unfortunately. But yeah, I mean, it now it’s becoming part of the practice and I think that that’s for all of us. I mean, I, I really do [00:32:00] think that that’s part of the message right now. And we had to, I mean, the weekends. We used to travel the weekends for fun too, like every weekend. I mean, I literally was almost never home and I’m here and.
And so, yes. So now, I don’t, I, I’ll tell you Mollie, breaking the image, I have not worn high heels, maybe twice in the last one month. I know it’s, I, I don’t, I look at them, I talked to my shoes in the closet. I don’t wear them. I don’t carry a purse. I, you know, I’m, I’ve gone, you know, hippie. But yeah, I mean, I think that’s, I think that’s something that we’re all supposed to learn and grow more in right now is specially.
You know, the, the leaders that are listening and salespeople, I, I put into that, you know, entrepreneurship mentality because they are in charge of their own business. And so we can get sucked into working 24 hours a day. And, and I, and I’ve actually now, I mean, I don’t know if this makes me just look crazy, but I’ve even implemented within my teams, they have mandatory now.
Like. [00:33:00] Breaks. They have to have, they, they have to have, we have, lunch meetings, that are open and you’re not allowed to talk about work. You have to just come and talk about other things in your life. I have every one of my teams, I say I let them know eight, 15 minutes a day you’re going to get, you have to go outside, get on zoom audio together and talk, and you can not talk about work.
As a team and you’re going to take a lunch break. I mean, I take a lunch break every day now. I haven’t had a lunch break ever. I take a lunch break, I make lunch, I sit with my daughter, we talk about what she’s learning. So yeah, I mean, it’s definitely a shift in, in relaxing, but it’s a learned thing. And at first I tried to go against it and, but it’s wonderful and I think it’s, I think it’s exactly what we all needed right now.
Mollie: I totally agreed. One of the things that I’m finding is. It’s in those moments that I end up getting my best ideas. Like when I take a second and disconnect, all of a sudden I’ll like see something and have this idea that sparks a [00:34:00] conversation. And I think when we Rob ourselves of that time of just like breaking away, we, we lose that opportunity.
Mary: Oh, that is beautiful. Like I’ve been dreaming like now I like remember my dreams now. It took like weeks of calming down to remember them. I actually was thinking about this morning how many builders and architects are going to be dreaming and bringing up like beautiful new creations because they’ve slowed down their mind.
Matt: I tell ya, I know for me, even during the day, it’s, if I feel that my.
Matt: capacity is, is overloaded or, you know, it’s like I can’t get any. I feel like I can’t get any great, good ideas on something. I’ll literally like change clothes, put on my tennis shoes and go for a 20 minute run. Because when you come, you know your, your blood’s pumping and you come back in, you’re revitalized to, you know, a different thought process than staring at your computer screen all day long.
Mary: It’s, it’s incredible and it’s, it’s amazing. [00:35:00] Also, I’m trying to take notes on all of these things that I want to make sure that if we go back to normal and like everybody’s at work, we’re doing that. What are we going to keep, you know, you know, what are we going to, how are you going to make sure, you know, Matt, that you, you get to still clear your mind with the run in the middle of the day.
Or you know, that these things that are real, we’re finding out, really serve us really nor nourish us. How are, you know, making sure that. As we now start going back to the way things used to be, work style. How do we make sure that we bring those things forward with us so that we are unfolding into a better version of ourselves and our companies?
Matt: Yeah. I think that has to do with each person defining themselves what normal looks like for them. Right? Like how do you mesh. The great things that you learn, the great things that you maybe have recently discovered. Like maybe if it’s going for a run in the middle of the day, or maybe if it’s, you know, doing your [00:36:00] zoom audio, like essentially a phone conference call as everyone’s taking a walk outside or a quick meditation or you know, whatever it is.
But making sure you take those new normal best practices into and merge that with what old normal is to come up with what the new reality is. That’s a lot of metaphors in one sentence.
Mollie: Mary, you are the absolute best. you know, you’re, you’re inspiring just naturally by who you are. And I know, you know, you do a lot of talks. This was really just like an open conversation. I’ve known you really well. For for many years since you first joined the industry, and I loved you since we met.
I do have to just say, you know, you are very likable, out of you and Jason. I think a 10 out of 10 would say you’re more likable than Jason. Sorry, Jason, love you. But. but I think, you know, you have [00:37:00] this, this realness to you and I, I appreciate you opening up and sharing like some of your personal stuff and just, I think our listeners are gonna really enjoy getting to know you more and, and hear from you.
If they want to connect with you directly, how can they reach out to you.
Mary: Absolutely. Well, I’d love to, my, my email address is super simple. It’s Mary M a R firstname.lastname@example.org. So for Forrest performance group. And then I’m also on, on Facebook and LinkedIn as Mary Marshall Forrest. And I love, I try to get on there and connect and I do it through this.
My shift on my, on my social pages has been more of like, you know, you know, conversations with myself. Like we’re having right now, like what am, what am I doing? And, and, and successes that I’m seeing and, and less, I guess the, okay. Canned stuff. It’s more, it’s more of these open discussions because I think that’s where we all are right now.
What we’re wanting and needing is [00:38:00] just who’s going to, who’s going to tell us the truth right now. Yeah. I love it.
Mollie: And possibly the most important question, what are you binge watching.
Mary: Oh, okay. So
Mollie: good shows.
Mary: Oh, so this is, okay. So we just finished money heist. Please tell me one of you has seen it.
Mollie: I haven’t.
Mary: I have not.
Matt: Oh my gosh.
Mary: Okay. So you need to, and I have not been successful in getting anybody on my own team to watch the show. So maybe somebody, if anybody’s watching and wants to, you know, email me about that too. I’m super in. It is freaking amazing. It’s, it is. It was a Spanish show, maintenance Spain.
so it’s dubbed and I, I wish, I, I, I’m glad I didn’t know it cause I would’ve, I would have judged it. It is, it is the number one show in like seven different countries. It’s a number. It’s now the number one show that’s ever been created in the world. Wow. It’s number one in seven countries, and the United States isn’t one of them, [00:39:00] but it is.
Fun and exciting and sexy, and it’s, it’s amazing. So I highly recommend it.
Mollie: I love how you get close to the mic to say sexy. I love how you’re picturing me. You can’t see me right now. You might have like a morning beverage. Who knows
Mary: I’m drinking. I’m drinking the most says right now.
Matt: All right, Mary, we’re going to steal this from our friends over at Zillow cause we learned this.
I need you to get your phone. And I need you to pull up Amazon and you need to, you need to say what your, since you were in quarantine, what are your last few Amazon purchases? Oh my God. Okay. As you’re pulling it up, mine or ours have changed. It’s like a conveyor belt. I think Amazon has a conveyor belt directly to our front door, so we bought a new beach umbrella.
It looks like a, there is a why I bought a wireless meat thermometer.
Matt: I don’t know. [00:40:00] I don’t know why, but there’s, looks like someone ordered
Matt: diapers and we don’t have babies, so maybe somebody is doing a donation. I don’t know. those are, those are some of the last, Amazon orders from our account.
Mary: Okay. Okay. I’m going to share, I started getting sweaty when you asked me that. That made me nervous. just, you know, but also you guys are gonna have to tell me your TV shows, but, okay, so here’s. Here’s what I have,
Mary: I have, I’m a goody girl cookies, fudge Stripe there. Quito, gluten free cookies
Matt: that’s covert appropriately.
Mary: yo yacht toys scoops. Ballgame. It’s an outdoor like scoop catch game. I
Mollie: bought two of those,
Mary: because I needed something to play outside and then, and then it’s like 500 books. So, of course, you know, I, I did, I went on and bought Jason’s book, the new one. how does sell through, through the coronavirus but the other ones that I bought to
Mollie: copy, he went, he wouldn’t give you one.
[00:41:00] Mary: only on Kendall.
Mollie: I know.
Mary: I know, right. It’s only out. and so to read it, I had to be the only one I ever bought. but then, and then I bought two books by Stuart Wilde. He’s my new favorite author. Well, besides my husband, let me say it that way so I don’t get in trouble.
Mollie: I bought hair dye. I, my son got a, a Minecraft toy and then we bought a dog pool.
mind you, we don’t have a dog. It was for our children.
Oh my gosh.
Mary: And they’re super excited about it.
Mary: not, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten nervous from a question before. And Matt, like, you just, I don’t know why that made me so nervous. I was like going through like, did I buy something inappropriate? I didn’t, but
Matt: there we go. Mindset. Right. Awesome. All right, [00:42:00] well, thank you so much for coming on the show, Mary.
It was an absolute blast. And, guys, if you want to learn more, make sure you reach out and, connect with Mary on all the socials and on fpg.com so yeah. Thanks so much for coming on the show, Mary. We can’t wait to have you on again soon.
Mary: Oh my gosh, I love it. This has been the most fun of my last four months and I will come back anytime you guys ask me.
Thank you both.
Mollie: All right, thanks, Mary. .